OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
