weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
