belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
