just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
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omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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