Duck Duck Cougar?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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