i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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