Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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