I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
time to smoke my breakfast
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
