I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
someone owes me an orgasm
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Well I just put wine in my tea
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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