So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize