Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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