I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize