I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
