I wish i was in the wii world.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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