You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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