and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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