you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
