im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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