I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
