I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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