It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
