So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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