dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
