i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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