we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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