So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
