I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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