Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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