i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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