so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
