she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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