i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
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