I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
