All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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