He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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