Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
