I CAN MOONWALK!
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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