I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Four minutes until I can fart!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
