i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
