So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize