He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
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Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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