when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
