i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
