At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
