They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
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This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
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Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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