you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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