Soap is not a condiment
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize