What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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