I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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