he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
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Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
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casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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