Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
