im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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