How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
