Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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