can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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