The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just invented taco cereal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize