"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
