you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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