I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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