You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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