ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
