your thong is hanging out like whoa
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
