Sponge bath it is.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
